goodbyes are no fun

so yesterday was my last day teaching my little baby kids.
and then tonight was the final spectacle with my older students.
to summarize: i am feeling  slightly overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions.

it is heartbreaking that i will never see these kids again,
these kids who i seriously love so much and wish i could take home with me.
there is just something so lovable about kids.
even my oldest kids, who would say the f-word at least a hundred times a day, rap all sorts of inappropriate music, draw butts, and pretend to smoke weed... they are still lovable.

before the spectacle started, one of my favorite students, renat came over and started telling me how he wanted to come to america someday.
i told him that we could probably fit him in my suitcase and i could bring him along.
he sat there, seriously contemplating it for a minute before saying
"but my friends are in russia, and my family."
ha ha. it's too bad because i would have sacrificed my clothes if it meant i could take him home with me.

before tonight it hasn't felt real that i am really leaving this country and these fantastic kids.
we performed our spectacle and as soon as we ended my kids started coming over and hugging me, giving me gifts, and taking pictures. i don't know if i have ever felt as loved as i did at that moment.

i was doing pretty good at holding in my tears until another one of my favorite students, mark, came up to me.
he is one of my level 5 students (the oldest class) and thinks he's pretty bad-a.
he's usually behind the fake weed smoking and butt drawing.
he had already hugged me about 10 times and he came up to me again.
he went to give me a hug and i just held him there for a minute.
as i was hugging him he said "miss sydney i will miss you very much."
and then as we pulled away and he said "i love you miss sydney" and started crying.
man oh man, i was a goner after that.

 ^^ gera- level 3 favorite, obsessed with apple, bad-a of the class ^^

 ^^ viktor and mike- level 5, total studs ^^

 ^^ renat- such a sweetheart, and so handsome, totally a favorite^

 ^^ crazy level 5 kids ^^

^^ ksusha- star student, besides the one day that she snapped and went ape shiz on everyone ^^

^^ alya- so sweet, she promised me she'll come to america to visit ^^

 ^^ mark- one of my most very favorites, punk who made me cry ^^

and here are my little babies.

^^ yuroslav and maxim- crazy little ADD cuties ^^

^^ matvea- so handsome ^^

 ^^ misha- would greet me with a big hug and kiss ^^

 ^^ kira- she's the cutest ^^

^^ marianna- she's the chubbiest, but so cute ^^

^^ dasha- she is such a little mom ^^

^^ liza- was actually terrified of us at first, but i won her over! ^^

^^ maxim- was also terrified of us at first, but after lots of coaxing and smiling he wouldn't stop saying my name, which sounded like "synneee" ^^

i seriously love these kids so much.
i am so incredibly blessed that i have had the chance to be their teacher.
all of them have impacted my life forever.
my heart is aching over the fact that i will never see them again.
we decided that, much like voldemort, my soul has been split.
except mine has been split thirty times and by these darling children.
all of them have a piece of my soul/heart.
except please don't kill them so that you can defeat me. thanks.

to sum it up:
i am not a fan of goodbyes. this is a lot harder than anticipated.
this adventure has been so good to me.

holla.


and ps. even though we're flying out tonight (is this real life???)
there are still some catch up vacation and russian posts. 

dear future husband

dear future husband:

it will be perfectly fine with me if you are this guy.

however, if you're not chace crawford i'm sure we'll probably figure something out.
and even if you don't look like him, you are allowed to have a voice like him. 
that would be perfectly acceptable.

i'm done being creepy now.


holla.

infinite in latvia

we started off our trip with a 15-hour train ride to riga, latvia.
and let me tell you what. riga far exceeded my expectations.
here are some highlights of the trip:

wandering the cobblestone streets and perusing the shops.

the beautiful riga cathedral.

and the view from the top of the cathedral was like something out of a movie.

locking our love and throwing the key in the river.

to symbolize our eternal and undying love and devotion of course.

exploring the latvian ethnographic open air museum.

imagine a viking village slash how to train your dragon village and voila! 

making new friends at our hostel.

if you ever go to riga promise me that you'll stay at friendly fun franks.

best hostel ever.

it was so fun to meet people from germany, poland, france, australia... pretty much everywhere.

it just makes me want to rob a bank and go visit all of them.

 only half joking. i won't actually rob a bank. i don't have adequate weapons.

riga had such a fun atmosphere and vibe.
and because of the fun friends we made and the experiences that we had it was one of my favorite places we visited.

on the last night that we were there courtney, marci, our new friend szymon, and i ended up wandering the streets at 2 in the morning.
there was seriously nobody else around;
it felt like we were the only people on the planet.

and i just had this moment where i thought
 i am in riga, latvia. i am surrounded by really awesome people, i'm traveling the world just like i've always dreamed. life does not get better than this.

and when i try to describe that night and those moments,
i can only think of the line from perks of being a wallflower
"and in that moment, i swear we were infinite."

life is a beautiful thing.


holla.